I have an important topic that’s been on my mind that I’m sure plenty of you deal with on a daily basis. Difficult people. Difficult situations. What is the best way to handle? How do you cope? These are sub-topics I’d like to explore.

In my day to day job, I am a manager who oversees a team of eight people. Compared to a large operation, this may not seem very much, but trust me, it is not easy. Eight personalities, learning styles, communication techniques that I have had to figure out. I’ve been a manager for almost two years now and admittedly so, I had no clue what I was doing (sometimes still don’t). There is no rule book or dummy proof guide on how to manage people.

DOs:

1. Questions. Ask a lot of them. And then, ask some more.
   • Tip: I find that if you are hesitant about asking a question (for fear of appearing stupid), I would acknowledge right off the bat that you’re new and you’d just love to hear their take on how they approached a similar situation. In my experience, I found that this taps into their empathy. Trust me, everyone has started somewhere. And they’ve experienced the exact same growing pains you did.
2. Google. There are enough examples on the internet to last a lifetime.
3. Talk it out.
   • Talk it out with a fellow colleague or someone you trust. Even if they are not a manager themselves, you’d be surprised to hear a fresh take on a situation and they could offer you a different perspective.
4. Write it down. Same as #3.
5. Figure out people’s communication style. Not everyone learns or receives information the same way. What may appear logical or common sense to you may not be as apparent to someone else. I can go on and on about this.
   • Pro-pro tip: key into what they need. Find a way to give them this (within reason). For example, I noticed that every few months or so, “X” would get attitude-y or complain about her workload. This is when I noticed that all she wanted was acknowledgment and validation. In this case,  if I offered sincere words of encouragement or gratitude, it would motivate her to keep working hard and perform. The goal is for them to want to work hard for you.

DON’TS:

1. Never send an angry email immediately after a heated moment. It’s not professional to send emotional emails in the workplace, especially if they do not offer a proposed solution. I recommend writing it out, but do not type in the person’s email address. Sit on it for a couple of hours and chances are, you won’t be as angry and you’ll be able to get your point across more effectively.
2. Engage with someone who is looking to pick a fight/argument. Just don’t do it. It is always tempting and we all imagine it to be super satisfying to eviscerate someone, but it never works out that way. You have to work with this person every day and it will be very awkward and uncomfortable to do so. Most of us spend a majority of our lives at a workplace, so why make yourself miserable? Ask yourself: is it worth it?
3. Don’t take it personally. This is a key one, but probably the most difficult. If you’re anything like me, you obsess over details and what you should have said or done over and over again.
   • Tip: Write it out and write down the facts only. I find that this helps take the “personal” aspect out of it. Don’t include the way it made you feel or your own opinion.

I’d love to hear from you guys! Any stories or tips you’d like to share? I’m always looking to learn.